If you’re a writer, underneath your desire to write, you’re insecure. It comes with the territory. There’s nothing like a bout of writer’s block, a rejection letter, or an unfavorable review to trigger all kinds of negative thoughts. And once those negative thoughts start creeping into your head, they may take over and soon that’s all you can think about.
Cognitive Distortions
This is what psychologists call cognitive distortions. You know exactly what I mean. It’s those thoughts that say things like:
“What makes me think I can write well enough to be published!”
“It takes a special talent to write a book; Do I really think my writing is that good?”
“I don’t have it!”
“I’ll never get published!”
Or, and this could be the clincher: “I might as well stop writing because I am not going to win any literary prizes!”
A good friend who just finished her first book admitted that she frequently had these thoughts:
“Who’s going to want this book?” And, “Why should I put my time and energy into writing something. I re-read it and it’s just awful?”
If you’re subject to such distorted thoughts, there’s good news. You can control your thinking. And, more importantly, you can actually make your negative thoughts and your insecurities work for you – not against you.
6 Helpful Steps
Here are six steps to gain control and change your thoughts and approach to writing:
- Don’t hide or deny your distorted thoughts. Instead, identify them and be aware of each and every one of them. You might even write them down to prove to yourself that you know exactly what they are.
- Accept those negative thoughts. Conventional thinking might tell you to do the opposite. That is, conventional thinking might suggest that you simply stop thinking about those unhelpful thoughts which freeze your creativity. No good. In order to confront them, you have to accept their reality. Accepting them, you will know the triggers for your negative thoughts — typically triggers will be rejection, criticism, and getting stuck in your writing.
- Acknowledge those pesky thoughts when they invade your mind. That is, when you get that rejection email from an editor who says your manuscript doesn’t suit their editorial needs, you know that’s going to result in a negative thought: “What made me think I could ever get a book published?” So, when that kind of thought shows up, just admit it. Identify it to yourself: “There’s that self-doubt thought again!”
- Instead of giving into your negative thought, take action. Fight back. Substitute a new thought: “Self-doubt, I know what you’re trying to do – get me to stop writing and wallow in self-pity and engage in self-abuse. But I’m not going to do that. I’m going to see this rejection from the publisher as a positive. This is an opportunity to refine my skills and escalate my efforts! I got a rejection, yes, but I had the courage to send my proposal out for scrutiny. That shows bravery. I can ask for feedback to improve my skills. This is not negative, this is how great writers become great. I’m not going to stop writing. I’m going to write more and keep sending out proposals!”
- Stay in the present. “I can choose to be excited about the process in this moment. I don’t have to let my mind slip back to any failures or regrets from the past. And I don’t have to anticipate failure in the future.” In other words, deal with the present: “I don’t like being rejected, but a rejection will never dissuade me from my real goal of getting a book published. Yes, I got a rejection, but I will work hard today and every day! I will send out more proposals and it feels good!”
- Turn your insecurities into strengths by staying open to new ideas and new ways to get acceptances. Use your insecurities in your writing. Develop characters with insecurities. Write a blog about how writers feel. Use your cognitive distortions to learn about yourself and improve your writing and your well-being.
And, finally, have fun with your silly thoughts. Knowing when those thoughts are likely to show up, interrupt them, laugh at them, and do the opposite of what your negative distortions tell you to do. That is, if your negative thoughts say to give up writing because you are no good at it, write even more, but enjoy the process and stay in the present. The present is good, breathe it in and write.
Remember that your strength is in continuing to write and persevere when other writers give in to their insecurities.
James Windell is an author, editor, and teacher. He is on the criminal justice faculty at Wayne State University and Oakland University. He is the editor of The Michigan Psychologist and the author of 29 books. His latest book, coauthored with Kristin Meekhof, is A Widow’s Guide to Healing: Gentle Support and Advice for the First 5 Years. Connect with him on Facebook here.